


Shield's guide to living with the avengers

by empressofevil



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressofevil/pseuds/empressofevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See the thrilling conversations that go on behind closed doors at the avengers tower. OK, maybe thrilling is the wrong word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shower with caution

Y/n has joined group chat.

Y/n: WHERE THE HELL IS CLINT!?!

Tony: what happened?

Y/n: I was showering, and he ran in, took a photo, and scurried up into the vents. WHERE IS HE!!

Bruce: The vents in the lab are thumping and shaking. I think I have a pretty good idea

Y/n: I'll be there in a minute

Natasha has joined group chat

Natasha: what's up?

Clint: Nat! Help me!!! Please?

Natasha: what's with clint?

Tony: he took pictures of Y/n in the shower

Natasha: really? That's hilarious!! But seriously, where's clint?

Clint can't come to the phone because he is being strangled 

Y/n: Your next, Nat

Natasha: Crap

Y/n has left group chat  
Natasha has left group chat

Bruce: can someone explain why Clint is unconscious on the floor of my lab?

Tony: Y/n

Bruce: oh.  
Bruce has left group chat  
Tony has left group chat


	2. if you have a  problem, do not ask Tony.

Steve: how do you work the coffee machine?

Tony: ask Bruce.

Thor: how do you use the machine that bakes the bread?

Tony: ask Bruce.

Natasha: do you know where my guns are?

Tony: ask Bruce. 

Bruce: why do you unload everyone on me?

Tony: ask Bruce.

Bruce: ........


	3. Yes, pranks are very fun, but not with the avengers.

Tony: are we all clear on the plan?

Y/n: Yes, but for the record, I think this is mean.

Tony: your soft.

Y/n: I'm nice.

Tony: Just play along.

Y/n: fine!

Steve has joined group chat

Tony: HHHHHHeyyyyyy Steve! What's up!

Steve: hello tony. Why are you being so nice.

Natasha: so you'll be less mad later.

Tony: hey Nat! Forgot you could talk.

Steve: less mad about what?

Tony: nothing! She has no idea what shes talking about!

Natasha: he's planing on pranking you.

Tony: bull!!!

Steve: what's he going to do?

Natasha: not sure. Must be something big if he's this excited.

Steve: I'm worried

Tony: it'll be fine

Clint has joined group chat  
Thor has joined group chat  
Loki has joined group chat  
Wanda has joined group chat  
Pietro has joined group chat  
Vision has joined group chat  
Bucky has joined group chat  
Sam has joined group chat

Clint: This better be important, Tony. I'm on a mission.

Sam: since when does reindeer games and metal arm have a phone?

Steve: I got buck a phone, and Thor got Loki his.

Tony: now that everyone is present, I have something to say...

Natasha: Steve, now is a good time to run.

Tony: WHO'S STRONG AND BRAVE, HERE TO SAVE THE AMERICAN WAY!?!

Steve: Oh my god....

Clint: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tony: WHO VOWS TO FIGHT LIKE A MAN FOR WHAT'S RIGHT NIGHT AND DAY?

Steve: please shut up. 

Clint: please Tony. I'm laughing so hard, I'm gonna blow my cover.

Tony: NEVER!!!!

Tony: WHO WILL CAMPAIGN DOOR-TO-DOOR FOR AMERICA?

Thor: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?

Vision: nether do I

Pietro: ???

Natasha: firstly, Thor, you don't need to use all caps. Secondly, it's mocking. This was Steve's theme song back in his day.

Wanda: Is that not cruel? 

Y/n: THATS WHAT I SAID!!!!!!

Natasha: she did.

Tony: CARRY THE FLAG SHORE TO SHORE FOR AMERICA?

Thor: the patriotic one is blushing quite heavily.

Tony: FROM HOBOKEN TO SPOKANE!

Tony: bring it home Y/n!

Y/n: *sigh* the star-spangled man with a plan.

Steve: Are you guys done?

Y/n: sorry!

Steve: how do you guys even know the song. None of you where around except......

Steve: JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, I SWEAR TO GOD, IM GOING TO... TO....

Bucky: your threats need work.

Steve: I'LL SHOW YOU THREATS! 

Steve has left group chat

Bucky: With me till the end of the line, huh?

Bucky has left group chat

Natasha: I should keep an eye on them

Natasha has left group chat

Y/n: hey, tony?

Tony: yeah?

Y/n: I'm coming for you.

Tony: aw come on!!!!

Tony has left group chat   
Y/n has left group chat  
Vision has left group chat  
Thor has left group chat  
Loki has left group chat  
Wanda has left group chat  
Pietro has left group chat


	4. .... because they will get you back...

Clint has started a chatroom  
Natasha has joined group chat  
Tony has joined group chat.

Natasha: Tony, where are you? I haven't seen you since yesterday.

Tony: I'm hiding from Y/n and Steve. There out for blood.

Clint: where are you hiding?

Tony: secret.

Clint: come on Tony. I'm a shield agent. I can help you hid.

Tony: how can I trust you?

Clint: I swear on the bro code. And my bow.

Tony. Fine. I'm in the 14th floor broom closet.

 

Nick fury has joined group chat.

 

Nick: Y/N AND STEVE GIVE NATASHA AND CLINT THERE PHONES BACK.

Tony: what?

Tony: no.

Clint: gees fine. IM COMING FOR YOU, TONY.

Tony: I'm scared

Natasha has logged out  
Clint has logged out.  
Nick has logged out.

Pepper: I hear Tony screaming. What the hell is going on?

Tony: pepper thddutftuuyv help me!:hdr!fyf.buivgu

Tony is unable to return to group chat.

Pepper: ummmmm.

Y/n: pepper. We are holding your boyfriend hostage. We demand a years worth of poptarts, and unlimited access to every part of the tower.

Pepper: done.

Y/n: smart

Pepper has logged out  
Y/n has logged out,


	5. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A (late) Christmas present to everyone who has left Kudos. Thank you!

Natasha has started a chatroom  
Natasha has added Y/N  
Tony has joined group chat  
Thor has joined group chat  
Steve has joined group chat  
Bruce has joined group chat  
Tony: AYYYYYYYYYYYY (nickname) WERE YOU AT GURL??? PARTY UP IN STARK TOWER!!! YOU GOTS TO GET OVER HERE LIKE ASAP!!!  
Y/N: I'm sorry... What???  
Steve: Stark is holding a Christmas party at the tower. Nat said you were coming.  
Tony: WHEN YOU GETTING HERE GURL??? THIS PARTY IS BANGING!!! THE DRINKS ARE ON FIRE AND THE GIRLS ARE SMOKING!!!  
Nat has muted User Tony  
Y/N: .....As awesome as that sounds, I actually have other plans tonight.  
Thor: But lady Y/n! A party is always better with you there! Your powers make for great party tricks!!!  
Y/N: Sorry, guys, but my office is having a Christmas party, and I want to make a good impression on the boss.  
Nat: Y/N, you don't even like your job. Why are you trying so hard to impress people you don't like and who treat you like dirt?  
Y/N: Because rent isn't cheap, guys, and being an Avenger doesn't exactly pay well. Or at all, for that matter.  
Nat: Listen, Y/N, you have to come to this party. you have been working yourself to the bone and its making you miserable. Everyone can see it, honey, we know you hate this job. I watch you come back to the tower in tears and tell me how much your co-workers look down on you and treat you like nothing, you obversely don't like them and they obversely don't like you. you won't enjoy their party and you know it. We all love you, and we want to see you happy, so please, just come and have a good time, OK?  
Y/N: I.....  
Natasha: Honey, Honey, let me put this another way. Does this sound familiar to you. You turn up to the office party, in your best clothes, of course. You turn up, pay 10 bucks to park, and slowly make your way up to the party. Once you get there, you'll be greeted by Maxwell, who will hug you whether you asked or not, and probably pinch your ass while he's at it. Then, you will stand in the corner of the room for an hour, look at all the people happily talking and imagine talking to everyone and impressing them all. Of course, that never happens and you've stuck it out this whole time for a five minute conversation with your boss during which he basically ignores you entirely and just talks about himself. After that astronomical failure of a night, you give up and head across the street to the 24 hour supermarket, buy three advent calender's and eat them all in your car.  
Natasha: does that sound about right?  
Steve: .....  
Thor: .....  
Y/N: .....  
Y/N: fine, I will go.  
Thor: YES!!  
At the party, Thor looked up from his device and towards the crowd. He smiled and yelled, in his booming voice "Lady Y/N shall grace us with her presence!!!". A wave of cheers went up through the crowd.  
Nat has unmuted User Tony  
Tony: I'm sending a limo to pick you up.  
Y/N: that's really not necessary  
Tony: Too late!  
Steve: See you soon Y/N. Everyone's super excited to see you.  
Thor: Goodbye lady Y/N. See you soon.  
Steve has left the group chat  
Thor has left the group chat  
Natasha has left the group chat  
Tony: Hey Y/N  
Y/N what is it, Tony  
Tony: Quit your job. I'll get you a job at stark industries. Everyone will treat you better and you'll earn double what you make at your current job  
Y/N: Really?  
Tony: Really.  
Y/N: wow... Thank you Tony! Thank you so much! I don't know how to thank you...  
Tony: No need to thank me. Those ass holes don't deserve you. Your an incredibly smart, kind and brilliant individual who deserves much better.  
Tony: Now come get shitfaced with me. We're all waiting.  
Y/N: Will do!  
Y/N: GTG. Limo here.  
Y/N: Merry Christmas tony. See you soon!  
Y/N has has left the group chat  
Tony: Merry Christmas, Y/N.  
Tony has left the group chat


	6. HELP!

So I've been dedicating a lot of time to one of my other works, a young avengers story that I'm honestly rather proud of, but that means that I've hit a bit of a buffer on this story. I really want to keep going, believe me. I really enjoy writing these type of stories, and judging by the good feedback I've been getting, It seems like you guys enjoy them too, But I need ideas if I want to keep going. That's where you guys come in.   
I need prompts and ideas. Anything new and interesting that I can run with and write. I'll be happy to write almost anything, romantic or not, so long as it keeps with the chatroom or at least partially chatroom vibe. It could be the second part of another chapter or something completely brand new.   
Here are the "Rules" (There negotiable to a certain point):  
\- Unless I really like both the character and the idea, I won't write smut in this book (Unless its like text sex, then maybe.). I have another book in which I do, and If you want that I'd point you there.   
\- No gore, no rape, no exceptions, non-negotiable (same as my other book)  
Apart from that, go ahead! I'd find it extremely helpful!!!


End file.
